Dean McDermott On Drug Use: "I Have a Brain That Wants Me Dead"

Dean McDermott reportedly came clean about his addiction during the filming of True Tori.

In a recently released clip of an upcoming episode of the show, McDermott is seen opening up about what drove him to cheat on his wife with 28-year-old Emily Goodhand.

"I didn't think that I would get caught," McDermott told a friend in the Us Weekly sneak peek. "I was drinking and using drugs, man. I was not dealing with things that happened to me in the past."

For years, sex, drugs, and alcohol were an escape for McDermott, but when it came to drawing the line, the self-described alcoholic struggled.

"I have a brain that wants to kill me," he said. "I have a brain that wants me dead."

After the news of McDermott's affair hit the web, he checked into rehab to address his issues, but as fans of True Tori have seen, he quickly became stir-crazy, wanting to be at home with his wife and kids. But although Spelling missed her husband, she stood her ground and he remained in treatment where he continued to learn about himself, his issues and the best way to deal with things moving forward.

"He decided he had hit rock bottom," Spelling explained to Us. "He had hurt me and the family, and it all crumbled. He needed to go away and work on himself."

At this point, it is still unclear whether or not Spelling has decided to stay in her marriage, but her currently airing reality show promises to reveal her final decision.

True Tori airs on Lifetime every Tuesday at 10 p.m.