Kelly Clarkson: I Was 'Pathetically Alone' for 7 Years

Kelly Clarkson has revealed that she felt "pathetically alone" before marrying her husband, PEOPLE reported Friday.

Clarkson appears in this week's Holiday themed issue of Parade. She shared how her holidays used to be as a single person for seven years. She would pretend to be fine with her status but longed to be in a relationship. She knew her lonely holidays were over after becoming involved with now husband, Brandon Blackstock. She predicted a long future for the two.

"Every Christmas, it was like, 'Seriously, I'm still pathetically alone? Awesome. I'm still telling people I'm okay with it? I'm not,' "Clarkson said. "[When I started dating Brandon], in my head, I was like, 'I'm already married to you!' "

Clarkson and Blackstock married in October. The couple are now expecting their first child together. She recalled crying at their nuptials which took place in Tennessee.

"I bawled like a baby," she said.  "We both wrote our own vows, and it was hard to get through them, but I did it ... Brandon was like, 'The Notebook ain't got nothin' on me - come on!' And he took me out [on the lake] in a rowboat. It was very sweet. The whole thing was perfect."